If you’ve been paying attention, you might remember that sometime last week, someone I know used the term “derogate” to mean “subtract” instead of it’s more standard “to annul a law”. And when I say “more standard” note that as far as I can tell there’s no possible way it means “subtract.” I think they meant “degrade”, but even that isn’t as clear. “Reduce by one” would be sufficient.
Anyway, it’s Sunday, and I’m still thinking about it.
On the plus side, my obsessive repetition of “Stray Cat Strut” has calmed down.
Anyway, the how to portion:
- Pick a rarely used word that I don’t know.
- Use it incorrectly.
- Force me to look it up in two or three sources.
- All this should happen right before we won’t see each other for a few days so I can get really OCD about it.
Eh voila — you have now gotten under my skin.
So my good friend and frequent blog commenter Yo [something] sent me a survey and I forwarded it around to a few people I knew as well and before you know it OMG I had turned in to 17 year old girl.
I figure since Nufftin and The Pope are using this for blogfodder, I may as well succumb to the pressure and post it here.
Eileen: for some reason I don’t have your email. Feel free to respond in comments. 
Kate: Loved getting yours. Looking forward to seeing you and S when you get back.
Yo [Something]: Thanks for kicking it all off! Remember Patrick? J forwarded to him and his answers were both a) completely filthy and b) hilarious.
Additional Rules: Farhan has to stop reading now. He can continue to read ONLY if he completes the survey and sends it to at least 4 people and copies me.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Childbirth prep class. Ok–didn’t quite cry.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
Meh
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Don’t have one.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
One on the way.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably. Although I’m a bit standoffish sometimes so it could be that we never even got a chance to talk.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A Lot?
I have never uttered a sarcastic phrase in my life.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
Yes
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Yes
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Razors and Oats
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No. Yes. Oh god I don’t know. I can’t stand the pressure. Who makes up these questions????
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Strong like BO on a Japanese subway late at night.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Cookie dough.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their outrageously beautiful feet.
15. RED OR PINK?
Blue.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Too comfortable walking away from my past.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Bigfoot.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Sure. More importantly, send it to REDACTED (YO [SOMETHING'S] EMAIL).
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
It doesn’t matter.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Fuck I forgot to eat breakfast!
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The sound of my own typing.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
I’m not a crayon.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Garlic & Onions
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
The lovely J
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT .THIS TO YOU?
You bet.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Professional Lacrosse, midget wrestling. OKOK — Little People Wrestling
27. HAIR COLOR?
blond
28. EYE COLOR?
blue
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
no
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
bread.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Neither. Comedies.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Good luck chuck.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Green
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Autumn
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Sure.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Cookies.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
The Pope (jls235, above)
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
JDA (full name REDACTED because I don’t know he seems like he has a life)
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Time and Motion Study, Rand McNally, 1927
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
What’s a “mouse pad”?
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST LAST NIGHT?
Idol. And it was Idol-rific.
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
The Lovely J breathing while she sleeps.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
The Dead Milkmen.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Japan. Or maybe Hong Kong. I’d have to measure.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can start juke boxes with a light punch of my fist.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Central NY47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
J’s and Nufftin’s, because I haven’t otherwise mentioned them yet.
OK well the title isn’t entirely accurate. I had a game that was entirely spares. Nothing else. No kidding. It’s irritating. Makes me thing the little Wii man is mocking me.
Or, alternatively, it’s just too early to be playing video games.
But I total beat Marco and Fumiyo in doubles tennis. I mean — damn — it’s like they’ve never picked up a racket.
Ah, the many joys of other people. Note that the sign maker is actually doing a really nice thing.
No, for the record, I didn’t write the note on the tape at the bottom.
I was at a mini trade show for work today. Pretty entertaining — talked to a lot of Salesforce.com people, some prospects, some customers and even a few competitors. Toward the end, as they break out the appetizers (if you get invited to a Salesforce.com shindig, go for the appetizers, stay for the Software as a service). Some people walk in front of a co-worker and I, stop, turn their backs to us, and talk about the merits of white rice.
“Excuse me,” I say, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I couldn’t help but overhear your discussion of white rice.”
The three turn, almost simultaneously, and stare at me. They are from a non-profit, young and shiny in their earnestness, and earnest in a way that only a Midwesterner can pull off. “I didn’t mean to eaves drop,” I say, “but I’m a bit of a fan of white rice myself.”
The one on the left is quick to act. “You are?” she asked. I could feel the pending challenge. “What’s you favorite white rice in the city?”
I have to admit I’m taken aback by this one. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it. It’s just that, well, I don’t normally talk about it. We white rice fans are, as a rule, a private bunch. The rise of the Internet has brought more social interaction but still, even today, we are more often alone than not.
“I prefer La Nan’s” I reply. This is a calculated answer, a challenge back if you will. Le Lan is not cheap, and rice isn’t on the menu or regularly served with an entree. You have to order it, and you will get a look askance when you do. But it’s worth it. It manages the somewhat difficult task of being a stick jasmine rice. I’m not sure how they do it. It doesn’t matter. These three youngsters probably couldn’t afford La Nan even if they had heard about the rice.
“La Nan?” This from the one on the other end. “That’s so November. They had an outbreak of weevils. The city practically shut them down and White Rice Spectator removed them from their list.”
I paused, trying to look cool & collected. I think I pulled it off.
“So,” I said, “what brings you here — customer or prospect?”
The conversation finished OK. Two are from Chicago, one from Indiana. Anyway, whatever, the great thing (or one of the great things) about being a little older is that I’m more comfortable with myself, even my mistakes.
I don’t know when I’ll eat white rice again.
Oh — he’s not. It’s just a major capitalization mistake that should have never made it through. This particular error may well cause 60% plus of people to simple discard your message, impeachment via the delete key, if you will.
That’s the problem with times like these: things slip through. What with your Chicago flagship wanting to still be called by it’s old name (hint: rhymes is Shashall Dields), falling sales and protesting workers.
Things slip through. Like a Major Capitalization Error on a poorly proofread email.
Oh, cheers to the Macy’s employee who, during my tour on Saturday, followed up my commentary regarding another owner’s rehab work — “Target really did a nice job” — with a “They certainly did!” I’m guessing that black smock might still be hiding a little green.
Just cruising through the old Suck.com and its wikiP and then rabbit blog. No idea why they call it rabbit but whatever it’s (reportedly) by the woman who wrote Filler. Here’s a juicy bit from a letter she decided to respond to:
Problem is: I am not twenty, I am 33 now. I should have figured all this out. Instead I have been turning in circles for the last 10 years. I feel like such a bore, because of it.
The good news the writer is correct. He is a fantastic bore. We all get older and have to figure out what we want on an ongoing basis. And we sometimes feel a bit lost. And complaining about it is extremely boring.
Why does this come up? I was talking to a friend the other day who said, in these exact words, I’ve been thinking about killing myself.
Seriously? Life’s not short enough for you already? Whatever. He and I have a fair bit of common history so I know the details of what he’s moping about and some of them suck but they suck in a very common and basic way. He’s made some minor mistakes but he’s no ax murderer. In the callous but true department: the worldwide reaction to him offing himself would be a great big meh. It might be preceded by a bit a hand wringing by those who knew him (an ex wife, his kids, his all but ex gf) but that’s probably it.
Whether you’re 20 or 33 or 38 (and probably even later), these things happen. You’ll get boring. You’ll work through it. And you might just find that your 20’s and 30’s were boring but your 40’s and 50’s rocked and rocked hard. But whatever: deal with it. Some pizzas take longer to burn.
So stop complaining. Nobody cares.
